NFL to Cease Scouting Efforts at Maximum Security Penitentiaries

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New York, NY – Over the last few weeks, the NFL has suffered a horrible reputation with the alleged domestic and child abuse charges on some of the players. It’s not just recently that NFl players have been arrested on these charges, though. Arrests in the league goes back quite a while, with OJ Simpson’s trial being the first real attention-grabber.

After a fake advertisement for the NFL went viral last week, the picture being a woman with a black eye, the commissioner of the NFL decided to make a change. “Ever since The Longest Yard came out in 1974, we started recruiting players from prison,” Commissioner Roger Goodell told us. “We learned how tough these guys were and how they had nothing to lose, so we started drafting them into the league. It took us a few decades, but we have decided to no longer recruit players from maximum security penitentiaries.”