The Truth Behind the Government Shutdown: Congress Stalling to Re-Watch Entirety of Breaking Bad

Washington, D.C.— As the first government shutdown in seventeen years goes into effect the American public is left wondering, who’s really at fault here: the GOP? Obama? A totally inept political mechanism? Or, more simply, Walter White?   What does a fictional chemistry teacher turned meth kingpin have to do with the United States government’s […]

J.J. Abrams Blinded On Set of Star Wars VII

A freak accident out of Matmata, Tunisia today has left J.J. Abrams temporarily blinded on the set of the upcoming 2015 Star Wars film. The film kicks off a new trilogy that many die-hard fans are hoping will capture the same wonder and excitement of the original trilogy. Everyone involved on the set of Abrams’ […]

Man Makes Tempur-Pedic Bed out of Free Samples

Manchester, NH – At one point, you’ve probably been at a a mall with a friend who said, “We can probably get enough free samples at the food court and we won’t have to buy lunch.” A man from New Hampshire just took it to another level. Terry Williams, a construction worker in his thirties, […]

Man Wears Yoga Pants in Public; Instantly Gets Arrested

Chicago, IL – This past weekend, a middle-age man put on a pair of yoga pants and left the house to go food shopping. Before he could even reach his car door he was arrested. Robert Brimstone, a lawyer and Chicago native, just wanted to enjoy himself on Sunday. “My wife and daughter both wear […]

Taylor Swift Runs out of Men to Date; Now Dates Women

Los Angeles, CA – Taylor Swift, famous for dating, well every guy under the sun, has now run out of men to date. The singer-songwriter, who has won seven Grammys, has dated celebrities like Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, and John Mayer. She has made numerous magazine covers over her highly public breakups and has written many […]

A Tale of Two Dakota’s

Washington, D.C. – There are fifty states in the Union, and seven U.S. owned territories/commonwealths, most of which are in a tropical climate. Recently elected officials from both North and South Dakota have met and decided to form one big Dakota in order to make room for a territory, such as Puerto Rico, to gain […]

‘N SYNC Reunites For One Night; Teenage Girls Indifferent

New York, NY – For the first time since 2001, ‘N Sync performed as a group this evening in Brooklyn. However, unlike their heyday when they had young women swooning, most girls were confused and dumbfounded when the quintet appeared at MTVs Video Music Awards tonight. “Here I was, watching what was supposedly a premier […]