Canada Invests Millions into Bernie Sanders Campaign so Americans Won’t Move to Their Country

Montreal, CA – The presidential election is at the end of the year, but the race for the seat in the White House is getting tighter and tighter. It seems that the two candidates that might make it down to the wire are democratic Bernie Sanders and republican Donald Trump. The youth of America and the hippies who never returned from Woodstock have seemed to favor Sanders, filling up town halls and conventions centers across the country to hear him talk about a better educational system and equality for everyone. However, no matter what Trump has said or done lately in his rallies, it seems that his fan base is only getting stronger and stronger. In a recent poll, over 50% of Americans said that if Trump were to win, they would move to Canada. Our northern neighbors want to do everything they can to prevent that from happening. So much so that they have just invested $50 million into Sander’s campaign.

Justin Trudeau, the prime minister and Leader of the Liberal Party in Canada, knows that having that many Americans flock to his homeland would mean a downfall for his country. “Oh man, when I first heard Americans making that promise, I knew we had to do something to help Sanders win,” the 23rd prime minister told us. “Obviously I don’t have that kind of money and neither do my friends, family, or the people I work with. So I started a Kickstarted to keep Americans in America and announced the start of the fundraiser one night on television. Within five minutes, we reached the goal of $50 million. Every single person in this great country donated at least $1 to the campaign.

Sanders has gratefully accepted the contribution and plans to put the money to the best use possible. Trudeau said that if Trump pulls far ahead leading up to the actual election, the Canadians will have no problem raising more money for Sanders. Anything to keep us from ruining their peaceful country.