Washington, D.C. – Fresh off reportedly helping push Rush Hour 4 into production, a claim that surprised Hollywood insiders and mildly concerned economists, Donald Trump has now set his sights on another cinematic crusade. He is trying to convince the world that Spice World 2 is the cultural priority of our time. While analysts hoped his sudden Hollywood enthusiasm might fade, sources say he is more fired up than ever. Many are wondering why he is not applying the same level of energy to inflation, job loss, or grocery bills that keep rising month after month.
In his newest entertainment pivot, Trump has become fixated on reviving the 1997 cult sensation Spice World. He has insisted the movie was massively important, very big, and truly historic. He has also called a sequel essential for national morale. To refresh his own memory, aides walked him through the group’s history. The Spice Girls formed in 1994, released one of the most successful girl group catalogs in music history, sold more than 100 million records, and inspired everything from dolls to Pepsi commercials. Since disbanding, the five members Mel B, Mel C, Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell, and Victoria Beckham have built careers in fashion, radio, writing, television, and music. They reunited in 2019 for a sold out UK stadium tour that proved Girl Power has never actually gone away.
Trump was also reminded of the Spice World PlayStation game, released in 1998. It allowed players to choreograph dances, remix Spice Girls songs, and create their own music video routines. It was one part rhythm game and one part chaotic fever dream, but it became a cult favorite. Trump reportedly said it was one of the greatest video games ever made, although staff members noted he does not appear to know how a PlayStation controller works or what any of the buttons do.
According to insiders, Trump tolerated the history lesson for about twelve seconds before pivoting back to his vision for the sequel. He is said to want Spice World 2 to feature a bigger bus, more explosions, and a cameo in which he offers the group advice on success. He also suggested giving each Spice Girl an American nickname, but he did not explain what those names would be or why he thought it was necessary.
The situation took a stranger turn when Trump requested a formal meeting with Queen Elizabeth II to discuss the movie’s global cultural importance. Staff had to gently remind him that she passed away in 2022. He allegedly responded by saying someone should have told him sooner and then asked whether King Charles has seen the original movie.
Critics argue that Trump should be focusing on America’s economy and employment issues rather than pitching sequels to 90s pop culture movies. According to one exhausted staffer, once he gets a movie idea in his head, it is almost impossible to get him to look at a grocery price chart.
For now, Spice World 2 remains an idea that is floating somewhere between nostalgia, confusion, and the world’s most unnecessary political priority.