Gurley arrived home from work with a slew of reporters asking many questions. Chief among them, “Didn’t you realize how many dirty dishes there were?” “Sure, I realized the seriousness of the situation,” answered Gurley. “But naturally, I just assumed a woman would do them. Female neighbors of mine walked by my windows without a care in the world. It was almost as if they didn’t think this situation was the responsibility of their gender.”
It would be hard to say Gurley didn’t work hard to find a solution to the problem. He put in calls to both Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and television icon Oprah Winfrey to ask if they could find the time to do these dishes themselves since no other woman had offered.
“I am just devastated by what has transpired,” Gurley said. “My home is uninhabitable. I placed calls to every woman I know, and some I didn’t. I just know, in my heart of hearts, I did everything I possibly could to get these dishes clean. Meanwhile, I don’t see Mrs. Obama doing anything except teach Jimmy Fallon how to Dougie.”