Washington, DC – It may only be the beginning of the year, but plans for the 2016 election in November are making great strides. Hilary Clinton, Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney are possibilities of the next president of the United States of America. Republican Mitt Romney has just released a new campaign that he thinks could really help him on his trail to the White House.

Romney announced in a press interview that, if he becomes our next president, he will put soda machines in every office in the country. “Water bubblers are not enough,” the Detroit native started. “I’ve never worked in an office before, but I’ve heard a lot of things about them. Bubblers just aren’t enough. If people are going to be working, something else I’ve never been a part of, they deserve some nice treats to get them through the day.” The republican candidate also added how Mexico has now become the fattest country in the world, stealing our title, and how he wants to get us back to number one.

Romney and his committee have called up some big name soda companies like Coca Cola and Pepsi. Both companies have turned down the offer. It seems that Romney and his crew will be lucky if they can settle with store brand soda companies.