MENLO PARK, CA — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg experienced a temporary malfunction Tuesday afternoon after a small amount of water was accidentally spilled on him during a press conference addressing the company’s latest round of layoffs due to the VR branch closing down.
According to attendees, Zuckerberg had been outlining Meta’s “streamlined efficiency roadmap” when a staffer attempting to adjust a nearby bottle knocked it over, sending a thin stream of water across the podium and onto the CEO’s sleeve. Witnesses reported that Zuckerberg immediately froze mid-sentence, his eyes locking forward as a faint clicking noise emanated from his torso.
“He was saying something about ‘long-term organizational optimization,’ and then he just… stopped,” said journalist Karen Liu. “There was a brief whirring sound, like a laptop trying to process too many tabs, and then I swear I saw a tiny spark near his cuff.”
Meta employees quickly moved to reassure the crowd that everything was normal, ushering Zuckerberg offstage while also having everyone NDAs.
However, inside sources have confirmed Zuckerberg has been placed in a large container of uncooked rice as a precaution and is expected to return to normal operations within 24 to 48 hours, pending full system diagnostics and a brief software update on empathy.
