Akron, OH – Purell, the number one hand sanitizer company, has just announced that it will be coming out with a new product that takes care of the .01% of germs that are missed from their other product.

“We just couldn’t handle the complaints anymore.” CEO Joe Kanfer told us in a recent interview. “A lot of germaphobes and other worried customers weren’t happy enough with 99.9%; they really needed all 100% of germs to be removed from their body. Also, it was really easy to make a hand sanitizer that only kills that small percentage of germs, so it worked for us perfectly.”

“I feel so much better now going out.” Jerry Finklestein, a big supporter of the product, told us. I work in a busy city, and I touch a lot of different things throughout the day. It got hard for me to eat anything, but now I really feel whole again.”