Vatican, Rome – This guy is just full of surprises. In is short tenure, Pope Francis has already made a multitude of radical movements in an attempt to shift the focus of the Catholic Church towards its more humble beginnings. He has given up the gold, robes, throne, and jewels that were bestowed upon him as he entered his papacy and urged Bishops and priests worldwide to do the same. He has come out in support of homosexuality and atheism, as well as recently announcing that Christian Supremacists are not real Christians. What could he possibly do next?
In St. Peter’s Square today, Pope Francis has announced that he is planning a conversion to Judaism.
“Jesus Christ was Jewish; of this, there can be no debate. In order to fully encompass and understand the true teachings of Christ, I feel I must live as Christ lived – as a Jew.”
“I see so much fighting, so much hatred between our two beautiful religions, which really are one and the same” stated the pontiff. “There is no ‘God of Christ’ or ‘God of Moses’; there is only God. One God; the same God. And I now feel that the Hebrew Bible may be the closest thing we have to His true Word.”
The Pope says that while he does not denounce or deny the Gospels of the New Testament, he believes that since they were not yet in existence during the time of Jesus, they could not have been a primary focus of Christ Himself. Because of this, these books should not be his main focus as he seeks a deeper understanding of the Word.
No mention has been made of immediate plans for conversion classes, or whether the Pope will urge his fellow clergymen to follow suit, but there has understandingly been a tremendous uproar in the Christian community. One Vatican tourist from the United States, who happened to be in attendance for this monumental speech, had this to say: “This guy gon’ ruin the Church man. First he’s all gays are cool’ and now he gonna be a Jew? Like a for serious Jew? I got a daughter man. I don’t even know man. I don’t even know.”