Priest Caught Having Sex with Miner

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Elkins, WV – One thing people think of when they think of priests is that they’re not allowed to have sexual relations with anyone. That’s why news of Father Thompson getting caught with a local coal miner was such a surprise.

Priests commit to celibacy before they officially become a spokesperson for God. Through prayers and the desire to continue spreading the word of the Bible, mosts priests are able to refrain from their desires and actions. Not only did Father Thompson give into these desires, but he was caught by a member of his church.

“It was right after Sunday mass,” chemist Ron Wallingford told us. “My wife left her jacket back at the church so I went back to grab it. I then found Father Thompson having sex with Pam Donaldson, a coal miner.” Thompson and Donaldson couldn’t be reached for her comment, however a close source says Thompson is turning in his robe and moving to Raleigh with his lover.