Tom Brady Upset with Verdict; Wants to Spend More Time “All up in Gisele”

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Foxborough, MA – Today was a great day for Patriots fans. The final verdict was announced that Tom Brady will not be suspended for the first four games of the season. After a few months of impatiently waiting for the deflate-gate news, fans of the New England football team could finally be excited about a brand new season and another hopeful Super Bowl win. As thousands of fans took to social media to celebrate the decision, the quarterback himself felt the exact opposite.

The thirty-eight-year-old California native should be excited that he is now able to start the season with his beloved team, but all he wants to do is spend time with his super model wife. “This sucks,” Brady told NESN in an interview shortly after the judge ruled in the Patriots’ favor. “I inflated those balls. Not only did I know about it, but I did it. I love this team and this state, but I don’t get to see my wife anymore. Have you seen her? She’s smoking hot. I did this so I could spend more time all up in Giselle.”

Although Brady admitted he deflated the footballs in the 49th Super Bowl, he cannot be tried twice for the same thing and the issue will just be forgotten about.

“We all couldn’t be happier with the decision,” Coach, and six time Super Bowl champion, Bill Belichick told us. “The whole team was worried, hell even I was worried. I think we’re going to start off the season strong now.” Belichick then let us know the other side of his decision. “We totally get it, though. His wife is like, really smoking hot. If I had a wife like her, I would purposely lose every game so we don’t go so far every year.