Kanye Names New Baby: ‘Haters Can Fuck Off’

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Los Angeles, CA – Kanye West and his wife, Kim Kardashian, have made the news once again. This time, it’s with the interesting choice of name for their new baby boy.

“I am so sick of haters giving me shit for my art,” said Kanye with Kim at a press release during the birth of their child. The birth came off without a hitch as the Hollywood couples surrogate mother gave birth to their genetic child. “I didn’t want to get pregnant again,” Kardashian told us. “So we paid Tara Reid $10,000 to take my place.” While not an unknown occurrence, many were surprised to hear that Tara accepted the job. When questioned for the decision, Tara Reid stated, “I have no idea when the next Sharknado film is going to be in production, so this nine month gig will keep me busy and help return to the spotlight!”

While many have been surprised at Kanye’s choice for a name, he released a detailed statement as to why he chose the unusual name. The lengthy statement boiled down to Kayne saying that he chose the name, “Cause y’all be a bunch of haters who can fuck off! Especially you Pitbull!” When asked if they would continue to name their children unique names, he responded with, “When I run for president, I want more kids than that fucker Jefferson.” From their home in Hollywof, the family celebrated quietly with their loved ones. Will Smith is said to have stopped by to congratulate the happy family, but was turned away. Kim, while slamming the door in his face, said, “Next time don’t show up without Jayden!” The West-Dashians will be strutting their new child around for the next few months, but we already can’t wait to see what they name their next child.