Mid-Twenties White Woman Has Never Seen Friends

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Denver, CO – If you’re a white woman between the ages of 18-25, there’s two facts about you. The first one is that your middle name is either Elizabeth, Anne, or Marie. The second one is that every white woman in that demographic has seen Friends. Not once, not twice, but a number that has yet to be created because they never needed a reason until now. Let’s say a jabillion times. If you are dating a white woman between the age to vote and the age to age to rent a car, she will quote every scene and every last word of that show.

It was brought to our attention earlier today that there exists a white woman, aged twenty-three, in the Mile High City who has never seen Friends before. Amanda Landing, a social media specialist from Arkon, was out last night with a group of co-workers at their favorite bar, High Altitude. The bar is known for its television and movie-themed nights. The last Friday of every month is Friends Trivia night. Landing has been great the last few months, but it was this one that stumped her.

“I just couldn’t believe it,” Sarah Franklin, a colleague of Landing, told us. “I mean, she was good at all the other trivia nights, How I Met Your Mother, Seinfeld, South Park, she knew all of those. But she has never seen Friends. In fact, she’s never heard of it before.” Franklin told us that she doesn’t plan on continuing her friendship with Sarah and that she is planning on finding a way to get her fired. Mostly so she can then binge-watch the whole Friends series.