Santa Calls It Quits after Starbucks Cup Outrage

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North Pole – Over the last few days, the country has been a mess as people side over the great debate of the new Starbuck’s up. Starbucks, along with so many other companies, have decided to take the politically correct route lately when it comes to Christmas-themed products. In the past, the coffee company’s November and December cups were filled with seasonal snowflakes, ornaments, and reindeer; all things associated with Christmas. This year, the cups are just a plain red.

Social media accounts, newspapers, television programs, and any other possible outlet have been covering both sides of the cup. Christians think Starbuck’s decision is preposterous and an insult to their religion. People of other religions are happy about it, because it opens the door to now celebrate more than one religion. Most of the other people weighing in on the decision just think the debate is absurd and we should focus on things that actually matter.

It’s very rare that we hear anything from Santa Claus, but even Saint Nick is now weighing in on the controversy. With less than two months to go before Santa was planning his annual trip around the world to grace the boys and girls with presents, he has decided to retire.

“I never thought it would come to this,” Claus told us. “I mean, I’ve been doing this job for centuries and there was never a problem. I’ve wanted to retire before, but the joy I see all around the world was always enough to keep me going. But this whole Starbucks dilemma is crazy. Seeing people fight over something as simple as a cup.”

Claus said he would think about coming out of retirement next year if he sees a change. Santa and Mrs. Claus plan on going on a cruise in early December and the elves, who have now been let go, are trying to find new work. If any elves are reading this, check out the following link for a fitting job: http://www.snagajob.com/job-search/q-warehouse+production+toys+r+us