Washington, D.C. – Today is a great day for Americans, as one of the worst presidential candidates in history is no longer in the running for our next president. Ben Carson, a Detroit native and former neurosurgeon, first announced he was running for president on May 4th when he was at a rally in his hometown. Only six months later, the Yale graduate has dropped out of the running to focus on something he finds a little more important: To go back in time and kill Hitler.
Carson has been in the news a lot lately, but not for anything good. The bestselling author had speculation on whether or not he had stabbed one of his friends years ago, has been deemed an “anti-LGBT extremist,” and has compared America to Nazi Germany. On the topic of the holocaust, Carson also weighed in on the abortion debate, saying he is pro-life and would not go back and abort baby Hitler. However, Carson just announced he would kill a teenage Hitler, if he had the chance. And that’s why Carson is going to no longer and run for president.
The sixty-four-year-old is planning to recruit physicists and other time travel enthusiasts to create a time machine to go back in time and kill teenage Hitler. “I feel this is the right path for me,” Carson told us. I had a long career saving peoples lives as a neurosurgeon, now I want to save the lives of the 11 million people that were killed in the Holocaust. “I would never have killed baby Hitler, but if I can get him one day while he’s painting or something, I could change the world. Then maybe I’ll run for president and people will forget how I stabbed that one person.”