Hollywood, CA – It comes as no surprise that Disney is building quite the calendar of upcoming sequels, prequels and live-action remakes. While Hollywood spent some time trying their hand at original movies, it seems that they weren’t met with much success. In a time of nostalgia where Buzzfeed is bringing back items like Surge, […]
Everything
Jeff Sessions Cast as Dopey in Live-Action Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Hollywood, CA – Disney has thrown their creativity out the window when it comes to their films. We’ve seen a new Star Wars movie come out over the past four years. Winnie the Pooh will be returning to the screen on August 3rd in Marc Forster’s Christopher Robin. The official cast for The Lion King has been […]
Kim Jong-Un Remaking Space Jam Starring Dennis Rodman
North Korea – Lucy and Ethel. Thelma and Louise. Romy and Michelle. These are some of the greatest friendships we have seen over the last two centuries. One of the more recent ones, however, is the one of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un and former NBA star Dennis Rodman. Over the past few years, Jong-Un […]
Crooked Boston Cop Just in It for the Pasta
South Boston, MA – For as long as police officahs have patrolled our streets, there has always been some that were corrupt. Policemen have had ties with politicians, celebrities and most importantly, the mafia. Although the mafia has quieted down around the country over the last few decades, it still stays somewhat prahminent in […]
New Wes Anderson Film Just Three Hours of Adrien Brody’s Nose
Hollywood, CA – It was announced this week that Wes Anderson is well underway on his newest film, Isle of Dogs This will be the ninth film for the Houston native and hipsters across the country couldn’t be more excited. Anderson is known for deadpan delivery in his writing and directing and using a recurring […]
Eagle That Attacked Trump Currently Recording Rap Album
Washington, D.C. – It’s hard to narrow down the most ridiculous moments of Trump’s time in the White House so far. From mocking a disabled reporter to banning some Middle Eastern countries from entering our country, the 45th President of the United States has really built up a list of crazy moments in just a few months. […]
Betsy DeVos Finally Learns Her ABCs
Washington, D.C. – It’s a big day for Betsy DeVos. This isn’t because she passed any bills to help our flawed educational system. It does have to do with education, though. The United States Secretary of Education has made a giant leap in her own education, as she has finally learned her ABCs! “It’s been […]
Kellyanne Conway to Become New Verizon Spokesperson
Washington, D.C. – Kelleyanne Conway is in the news almost as much as Trump these days. From getting trolled by “fans” to being parodied on Saturday Night Live by the talented Kate McKinnon, it’s hard to turn on the television or check Facebook without seeing the New Jersey native’s name. Just earlier today, Conway showed […]
Sinbad Fired After Not Showing up for His Shift at Walmart
Hollywood, CA – Sinbad had it all in the 90s. He was a beloved stand-up comedian, co-starred in films like Jingle All the Way and Good Burger and he even had his own sitcom for a few years. It’s been a tough last few years for David Askins, though. Not only has the Michigan native filed […]
The Experiment
Writer’s Notes: I wrote this almost seven years ago. I was on the Vineyard and I woke up from a nap on a windowsill. I looked at my father and his best friend and I told them, “I just had the craziest dream!” I jumped up, grabbed my notebook and turned my dream into this […]
The Expendables 4: Shipwrecked to Resume Where Cast Last Washed Up
Hollywood, CA – Sequels are pretty much all Hollywood has going for them these days. Whether or not they are good movies, they at least make a lot of money for the film industry. With only two months into this year, sequels in the Underworld, xXx, and Resident Evil film franchise have already hit theaters. Throughout the year, we […]
Local Teen Having Tough Time Masturbating in New Tiny House
Longmont, CO – Tiny homes are one of the biggest trends these days. If you flip through the channels, you’ll see many new shows showcasing this architectural and social movement. Married couples, bachelors, and families are all moving from their normal-sized houses into tiny homes. People are making the move to spend less and live within […]
Forest Whitaker’s Left Eye to Retire from Acting
Hollywood, CA – Fresh off of the lengthy press tour for the newest Star Wars movie, Forest Whitaker announced on Twitter this morning that his left eye will be retiring from acting. The Texas native is a well known actor and producer, but is most notorious for his eyes. Whitaker has ptosis, which causes a dropping […]
Obama and Biden Get Matching Tattoos
Washington, D.C. – With only a few months left in the White House, Barack Obama is winding down and having a little fun. The 44th president can be seen in a recent sketch video, joking around about what he plans to do after leaving his second and final term. The Hawaii native is going to […]