Elon Musk Speeds up Mars Project; Desperate to Get Us the Fuck off This Planet

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Bel-Air, CA – Elon Musk is one of the best and brightest innovators we’ve had in years. The South African native is responsible for Tesla Motors, Solar City and so much more. The billionaire believes we are all stuck in the Matrix and has partnered up with other billionaires to find a way out of it. He is one the wealthiest people in the world, but his vision for his companies is to change the world and humanity. One of Musk’s current projects, Space X, would completely change humanity. Musk wants us to colonize Mars.

As the country waits in anticipation to find out if a modern-day Hitler is going to run the free world, Musk has decided to put every other project besides Space X on hold. “I can’t believe it’s come to this,” Musk took to Twitter to express his confusion and anger towards Trump coming close to the win for president. “As much as I want to keep working on solar shingles and other stuff on Earth, we just need to focus on getting off of this planet. Even if Clinton wins, which I of course hope she does, it still shows how terrible America is. We need to get off of this planet.”

Musk, a very generous and kind person, has pulled all of his employees from his other companies and has hired them for Space X. He hopes to get us to Mars within the next year and leave Trump and his supporters behind.