Brazil – In a crazy match between that one country with that tasty food and the other country that has that really important export, that one guy scored a really awesome goal.
The guy who scored it was none other than that person who’s name you can’t pronounce most of and he is representing his homeland, which you could never point out on a map even if you tried.
As he scored the goal, fans and opposing fans all around the world started to yell out his name in excitement or anger. After struggling through the first syllable of his name, they all gave up and resorted to using his nickname, “The Speed Demon.”
After scoring the goal, he lifted up his shirt and ran around the field showing off his rug-like chest to the world. His teammates then celebrated with him in the most heterosexual way possible by jumping all over him and grabbing his butt.
His team then went on to win and eliminate that other team and they will now be facing off against that country with the really cool mountains in the middle of this week.