North Hollywood, CA – In what’s being called one of the craziest and most disturbing freak accidents in history, a dildo factory exploded early last night. The sex toy manufacturing company, Erectitron, lost its manufacturing headquarters along with most of its staff. There is still no evidence of what caused the fire, or the gigantic explosion that shortly followed and took the lives of almost 70 employees.
“My condolences go out to all of the friends and family of the employees who lost their lives last night,” CEO Rich Tompkins told us. “We’ve never experienced anything like this before. It’s such a tragedy and we are going to find out what did this so we can prevent it from ever happening again.”
Firefighters showed up shortly after the explosion and checked the warehouse for any survivors. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” Chief Eric Lawler told us. “There were dildos everywhere and they were imapled into many of the employees. Many of our firefighters are going to start therapy this week.”
