Republicans Win in Colorado; Democrats Too High to Make It to the Polls

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Denver, CO – The talk of the office today was all about the elections for Senate. People wore stickers to show their pride of their freedom to vote and political debates were tossed around. Only an hour ago, Colorado received the news that Republican Cory Gardner beat Mark Udall, taking the seat from him.

Coloradans, along with people all across the country, were very surprised to hear that a Republican has taken over in the state. For years now, Colorado has been seen as a pretty liberal state. This was brought to attention the most last year when Colorado passed a law to make marijuana not only legal, but to sell it as well. Although many people have loved this liberal movement, the Democrats are now starting to realize that it has affected them in a negative way: Democrats were too stoned to make it to the polls to vote or they just forgot the voting was today.

A resident of Denver woke up from a day-long nap to catch the news informing him that a Republican has now taken office. “I smoked a fat bowl this morning right before watching Animal Planet,” Jason Gallup started. “Soon enough, I fell asleep for the whole day, man. I totally forgot today was election day.” The barista then went back to sleep again, because 12 hours of sleep wasn’t enough for him.