Nashville, TN – It’s can be hard to pick a favorite genre of music. With so many genres out there, and so many newer ones like dub-step and trap-hop, it can be hard to narrow it down to one specific category of music. However, if someone ever says, “I like every genre of music,” the statement is always ended with: “Except country.” And they are right to say that, because country music is awful.
For some reason, millions of Americans enjoy listening to country music. Songs about pick-up trucks, beer, horses, and horses and beer somehow attract people from all over to packed stadiums where people get drunk beyond belief and belt out the worst written lyrics. It was las week in Nashville, the capital of country music, that a college professor decided to run a study on listeners of country music.
Dr. Barry Wilmore, a professor of Music and Arts Therapy at Vanderbilt University, put together a thesis and study to see if fans of country music were in fact slightly off and slow.
The professor gave different tests to some of his students to determine if his hypothesis, listening to country music makes you stupid, was accurate. While some of the tests were focused on certain subjects like math and science, and the others were situational tests and tests based off of common knowledge. Wilmore found his hypothesis to be correct, as the country listeners all scored a ridiculous amount lower than anyone else on the test. They even scored less than listeners of metal music, which also sucks.
“On one hand, I couldn’t believe it,” Wilmore told us. “On the other hand, I knew my hypothesis would be correct. It’s not like I actually had to run this test to prove anything; I mean, all you have to do is look around and you can tell that people who listen to country music are really stupid.”
Wilmore’s next study will be if people who watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians are stupider than everyone else who watches actual, meaningful television. We look forward to his result on this test, but we also don’t think he needs to run the test, as it’s easy to just look around and know it’s true.