DCF 1.0


Every Fourth of July, millions of Americans celebrate our independence by getting drunk and setting off fireworks. Most of these patriots aren’t just lighting off sparklers, they’re lighting off Roman candles, tanks, M-80s and other powerful balls of flame. Hospitals stay busy every year at the beginning of July, as many people blow off limbs trying to set off these fireworks. This year, there was a record-low number of people rushed to the ER to nurse their wounds.

“It was a pretty slow year,” Dr. Krishnul told us this morning. “We had a packed staff this year, but I was able to send a lot of people home early.” Krushnul has worked at the Park Valley Hospital the last ten years and has seen more people with lost limbs than he ever thought he would. “This part of the country is interesting. You don’t find a lot of people around here with every limb,” the Hyderabad native mentioned.

All across the country, there were low numbers of patients in the emergency room from firework accidents. Maybe the people in the country are getting smarter, but with Trump making it as far as he has in the presidential election, we doubt it.