Trans-Siberian Orchestra Banned from White House

Washington, D.C. – Even though Halloween is still over a month away, Christmas music is already in full swing. Cars, offices, and headphones across the world are already starting to play holidays-themed songs by Hanson, N’SYNC, and Mariah Carey. And, of course, Trans-Siberan Orchestra has announced their Christmas tour. The Floridian rock-band will be making their way across the states on their The Ghosts of Christmas Eve tour, where they will be playing hits from their twenty-two-year career and massive discography. Yet there is one place where TSO will not be allowed this year: The White House.

Earlier this morning,Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders spoke in front of the press on a matter that both President Donald Trump and Vice President Trump Mike Pence though to be of high importance. “Christmas is always a joyous time here at the White House,” The Press Secretary declared. “We pride ourselves here on family, tradition, and morales. And because we don’t want our young ones to be disturbed by this LGBTBBQ liberal movement, we are declaring a ban of any Trans-Siberan Orchestra music played here in the White House.”

Before Sanders finished her statement, hands were raised throughout the room to let the Arkansas native know that the band has nothing to do with gender identity of expression.

Like always, Sanders brushed everything off saying the administration has made a decision and Trans-Siberan Orchestra will not be playing a concert at the White House and any employee found playing them will be fined.