Trump Cuts Ribbon at West Wing McDonald’s Location
Washington, DC – There is a lot going on in the country right now. A pandemic, unemployment, protests; we could have never guessed that the turn of the decade would start off with so much uncertainty and sadness. You would think Trump would be spending all of his time and energy working to fix these […]
High School Sweethearts Still Going Strong With Bag of Flour
Harwich, MA – Parenthood is a tough job to take on. Because of this, high schoolers are taught in Home Ec class exactly how to one day take care of a baby. Some students are given eggs to take care of, others are given dolls that actually mimic the crying of a baby and the […]
Pornhub Unveils Plans for New Tokyo Skyscraper
Tokyo, JP – Following unprecedented profits from a first quarter surge in 2020, the pornographic video sharing company Pornhub has announced plans for a new building in Tokyo. Since the start of the pandemic, pornographic websites have seen a massive increase in viewership, as people are spending more time at home. Pornhub even offers free […]
Scientist Tells Spider We’re More Afraid of Them
Austin, TX – Summer is just around the corner, which means spiders are going to start showing up in our homes again. The eight-legged creatures have been on this planet for over 380 million years and have been scaring humans since day one. When asked what someone fears most, the response is usually: spiders. Is […]
Launch Delayed Due to Astronauts Not Knowing How to Spell Password Containing Elon Musk’s Son’s Name
Cape Canaveral, FL – The whole country watched in anticipation today as the SpaceX was supposed to leave for its trip to space. This exploration is a big mark in history, as it would’ve been America’s first trip to space since 2011. The launch is also quite notable, as NASA has partnered with billionaire tech […]
Harrison Ford Crushed to Death by Giant Rubber Band Ball
Cleveland, OH – A lot celebrities and wealthy people have been retreating to safer areas with everything going on in the world right now. David Beckham and his family left their Los Angeles home for their private island to get away from the crowds and record producer, David Geffen, took shelter on his yacht. In […]
