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Top Ten Tragically Flawed Super Powers

  1. The ability to jump ridiculously far, but you have poor depth perception
  2. The ability to fly, but you have narcolepsy
  3. The ability to run super fast, but you go blind
  4. The power of super-strength, but only under water
  5. The ability to go through walls, but it only works 50% of the time, and you have to be running at top speed
  6. The power of invisibility, but you have Tourette syndrome
  7. The ears of a bat but you can only hear farts, and ability of echolocation but only achieved with farts
  8. All your skin has the ability to camouflage itself as anything, except for on your ass
  9. The ability to communicate with animals, but only in sexual innuendos
  10. The power to travel backward and forward in time, but whenever you arrive it is always to someone secretly masturbating