Everything

Trump Cuts Ribbon at West Wing McDonald’s Location

Washington, DC – There is a lot going on in the country right now. A pandemic, unemployment, protests; we could have never guessed that the turn of the decade would start off with so much uncertainty and sadness. You would think Trump would be spending all of his time and energy working to fix these […]

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High School Sweethearts Still Going Strong With Bag of Flour

Harwich, MA – Parenthood is a tough job to take on. Because of this, high schoolers are taught in Home Ec class exactly how to one day take care of a baby. Some students are given eggs to take care of, others are given dolls that actually mimic the crying of a baby and the […]

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Scientist Tells Spider We’re More Afraid of Them

Austin, TX – Summer is just around the corner, which means spiders are going to start showing up in our homes again. The eight-legged creatures have been on this planet for over 380 million years and have been scaring humans since day one. When asked what someone fears most, the response is usually: spiders. Is […]

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Launch Delayed Due to Astronauts Not Knowing How to Spell Password Containing Elon Musk’s Son’s Name

Cape Canaveral, FL – The whole country watched in anticipation today as the SpaceX was supposed to leave for its trip to space. This exploration is a big mark in history, as it would’ve been America’s first trip to space since 2011. The launch is also quite notable, as NASA has partnered with billionaire tech […]

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Harrison Ford Crushed to Death by Giant Rubber Band Ball

Cleveland, OH – A lot celebrities and wealthy people have been retreating to safer areas with everything going on in the world right now. David Beckham and his family left their Los Angeles home for their private island to get away from the crowds and record producer, David Geffen, took shelter on his yacht. In […]

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Japanese Sex Robots Also Won’t Do Anal

Tokyo, Japan – Decades ago, there were books, television shows, and movies that predicted what today might be like. Flying cars, vacations to space, and dinners that come in the size of a pill were what writers used to think would be a big part of our lives today. However, we have not seen any […]

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