Seaside Heights, NJ – it was a long weekend for GNC Assistant Manager, Chet Jabroniston. It wasn’t from the usual fist pumping on the strip, though, it was from trying to find the perfect selfie to set as a default picture on his Facebook profile.
After locking up the store on Friday after selling ‘dope shake mixes’ to some soon-to-be buff locals, he made his way home to the townhouse he shares with ten of his closest bros. As his roommates all got ready with their fake spray tans and hair gel, Jabroniston prepared some jäger bombs as he sat down at his computer. He then weeded through a bunch of photographs that he took of himself at the gym the night before. He put the hundreds of different photographs into three different folders; “Most Definitely,” “Almost,” and “Not Now, Not Ever.”
By the time Sunday night rolled around, the Jersey native had finally found the perfect picture. His hair looked perfect, his tan almost looked real, and his muscle were huge. “It’s hard to find the perfect picture that will net you the most tang,” the Bruce Springsteen lover told us. “I spent over 48 hours on it this weekend and that was record time for me. These things aren’t easy. Mad honnies are gonna be peeping my Facebook and I want them to know I’m the real deal.”