Irving, TX – America awoke this morning to headlines dominating the internet about a boy in Texas who was arrested for bringing his homemade clock to school. The school officials, at the time, had thought that the clock was a bomb. “It ticked and was complicated, so naturally I thought it would explode once the boy said, ‘Allarh Ackbarh,’” said a school official. Police arrived in the early hours, arrested the child, and brought him to the station for booking. Since then, after an outpouring of support, the boy was released and invited to the White House.
However, the drama has not died down in Irving, TX. The police department has since refused to release the “bomb,” citing Texas national interests. A local Sherriff was quoted saying, “We need to take this apart to see how it works. I’m still convinced the boy will use A-rab Magic” to detonate it.” After pressure mounts from the nation, citizens all over Texas have echoed that fear. “We can’t put the Nation at risk,” said Texas Governor Greg Abbott, when questioned about how the state will proceed. He continued, “We have the best minds from our numerous community colleges dissecting the bomb carefully.”

As public outrage continues to mount, there has been a petition filed at for the official removal of Texas from the rest of the United States. As of the writing of this article, over 2.3 million Americans have signed it