Washington, D.C. – As of tomorrow, Donald Trump will be our president. Even worse than that, the billionaire has rounded up a cabinet of wealthy people who know absolutely nothing about the role they will soon be taking on. To say that we are all in trouble is quite the understatement. Videos have been surfacing the internet over the past few days that involve more intelligence people questioning these cabinet members on the environment they will soon be working on. Al Franken and Bernie Sanders recently took on Edward Scott Pruitt, the soon-to-be Secretary of Economy, as well as Betsy DeVos, unfortunately our soon-to-be Secretary of Education. Pruitt doesn’t believe climate change is caused by humans and DeVos probably couldn’t spell the word ‘humans.’ While you would think this cabinet of rag-tag people would be going home in embarrassment and studying what they could soon save or destroy, they have decided to join a local dodge ball league.
As the band of merry misfits gets ready to take on Washington D.C., Trump decided to occupy his cabinet on Tuesday nights by signing them up for a local dodgeball league. “I think it’s something that will really bring us together,” the 45th president told us. “I want us to have some fun. We’re already getting so much flack from everyone and this will be a nice way to relieve stress and take our minds off of ruining this country.”
The games will take place in the gym of an elementary school close down the street from the White House. As people started to learn about the cabinet and their new, fun activity, they started signing up for the league. Some people will be coming from places like Massachusetts and North Carolina weekly just to hit the cabinet members in the face with balls. “I’ll be driving down to D.C. every Tuesday night and I can’t wait,” Thomas Winfrey told us. “I do wonder if they’ll be good or not, though. I mean, they’re good at dodging questions; maybe they’ll be good at dodging balls.”