Allstate Increases Martin Shkreli’s Insurance to $1,000,000 per Month

New York, NY - You've probably heard the name Martin Shkreli by now. The American entrepreneur and pharmaceutical executive is notorious for increasing the price of Daraprim; an HIV/AID drug. The Orange...

Papa John’s Releases New Papasan Furniture Line

Jeffersontown, KY - Every once in a while, you come across a business that decides to branch out and try something completely new. Papa John's is the most recent...

Godzilla Shows up in Rio Just Weeks Before 2016 Olympics

Rio de Janeiro - With less than a month until the 2016 Olympics, Rio is falling apart. Body parts have shown up on the beaches where some of the...

682 People Hit by Cars While Playing Pokémon Go; So Far

It's been less than a week since Pokémon Go came out and the augmented reality mobile game has already taken over Australia, New Zealand, and the United States. Sixty...

IKEA Founder Dead at 90; Surviving Family Forced to Build Coffin from Scratch

Småland, Sweden - Igvar Feodor Kamprad, the founder of the billion-dollar furniture brand IKEA, passed away yesterday morning peacefully in his home. The business magnate had been ill for...

Study Shows Men Have a 31.6% Chance of Dating Taylor Swift

Cambridge MA - Within what seemed like moments after returning from a vacation with her then boyfriend, Calvin Harris, singer-songwriter Taylor Swift packed her bags and headed out on vacation with...

Apple Announces Fran Drescher as New Voice of Siri

Cupertino, CA - Yesterday afternoon, Apple CEO Tim Cook got together a small group of tech reviewers, investors, and other notable Mac enthusiasts to announce a new update on the iPhone...

Honey Boo Boo Checks into Rehab for Addiction to Meth

McIntyre, GA - Remember when Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was an actual television show? That moment in American history was definitely one of the things that contributed to...

This Fourth of July: Record Low Injuries Due to Fireworks; Is America Regaining Its...

  Every Fourth of July, millions of Americans celebrate our independence by getting drunk and setting off fireworks. Most of these patriots aren't just lighting off sparklers, they're lighting off...

Uber Announces New Piggyback Service

San Francisco, CA - It seems like every time you turn around, Uber has come up with a new service for their transportation company. What started off once as...

Trump Announces Hitler Hologram as Running Mate

Washington, DC - As the country waits to see if Hillary Clinton picks Bernie Sanders as her running mate, republican nutcase Donald Trump has announced his running mate. The...

Kanye West to Star in The Passion of the Christ 2

Hollywood, CA - Legendary actor and alcoholic Nazi Mel Gibson recently announced he would be making a sequel to his 2004 biblical film, The Passion of the Christ. Ever since the Bravehart...

Bernie Sanders to Start New Job as Ben and Jerry’s Food Taster

Burlington, VT - After a big upset earlier this month, democratic candidate Bernie Sanders has already found himself a new career. The Brooklyn native was knocked out of the...

Norah Jones Announces National Starbucks Tour

Los Angeles, CA - If you've ever been to a Starbucks before, you know the demographics of the Seattle-based coffee company. There's the white women who wear Uggs and...

Hillary Clinton Arrested for Terrorizing Dalmatians

Washington, DC - Fresh off of her big win over Bernie Sanders, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been arrested for animal abuse. The Chicago native is still waiting to...
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