“I Got a Dog. Are You Happy Now?” Trump Announces to Country
Washington, DC – Reality television host turned 45th president, Donald Trump, has a lot to apologize. The way the New York native responded to the devastation in Puerto Rico, how he has underplayed the pandemic, the way he has handled the peaceful protests revolving the Black Lives Matter movement, the illegal actions he has put […]
Confused Trump Sends Military to Ben Gibbard’s House to Ban New Postal Service Music
Seattle, WA – A few weeks ago, Donald Trump set his sights on his next target: The U.S. Postal Service. Since his term started almost four years ago, the 45th president has come after organizations such as NATO, as well as companies like Twitter. The New York native is taking this next vendetta to “Such […]
American Bald Eagle Relocates to Canada
Homer, AK – There is a lot going on in the United States. The reality-television host turned 45th president has handled a pandemic in the worst possible way, police brutality and an uprising in White Supremacy have shaken its residents, and the way the way immigration is addressed Samuel Wingman, an American Bald Eagle in […]
Trans-Siberian Orchestra Banned from White House
Washington, D.C. – Even though Halloween is still over a month away, Christmas music is already in full swing. Cars, offices, and headphones across the world are already starting to play holidays-themed songs by Hanson, N’SYNC, and Mariah Carey. And, of course, Trans-Siberan Orchestra has announced their Christmas tour. The Floridian rock-band will be making […]
Kim Jong-Un Remaking Space Jam Starring Dennis Rodman
North Korea – Lucy and Ethel. Thelma and Louise. Romy and Michelle. These are some of the greatest friendships we have seen over the last two centuries. One of the more recent ones, however, is the one of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un and former NBA star Dennis Rodman. Over the past few years, Jong-Un […]
New Healthcare Plan “Accidentally” Printed in Russian
Washington, D.C. – It’s been a hell of a month for Trump. He has lost most of his supporters, Japan’s first lady pretended not to know English to avoid him, and Sean Spicer recently quit his job as White House Press Secretary. On top of these recent downfalls of the Trump administration, the 45th president […]
Eagle That Attacked Trump Currently Recording Rap Album
Washington, D.C. – It’s hard to narrow down the most ridiculous moments of Trump’s time in the White House so far. From mocking a disabled reporter to banning some Middle Eastern countries from entering our country, the 45th President of the United States has really built up a list of crazy moments in just a few months. […]
Betsy DeVos Finally Learns Her ABCs
Washington, D.C. – It’s a big day for Betsy DeVos. This isn’t because she passed any bills to help our flawed educational system. It does have to do with education, though. The United States Secretary of Education has made a giant leap in her own education, as she has finally learned her ABCs! “It’s been […]