Ken Griffey III Strikes out Once Again in Intramural Baseball
Houston, TX – First there was Ken Griffey Sr. The Pennsylvania native played in the Major Leagues for almost two decades. The three-time All Star played the majority of his career for the Braves and the Yankees and even went on to be inducted into the Hall of Fame for the former team. For the […]
Rob Gronkowski’s Latest Concussion Renders Him Literate
Foxborough, MA – With the Super Bowl only one weekend away, the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles are gearing up for quite a match. Both teams have been spending extra time practicing on their respected fields, working out in their gyms, and gathering around in the locker room to watch footage of their […]
Godzilla Shows up in Rio Just Weeks Before 2016 Olympics
Rio de Janeiro – With less than a month until the 2016 Olympics, Rio is falling apart. Body parts have shown up on the beaches where some of the games will be held, olympians are choosing not to attend the games because of health scares, and now one of the largest, both physically and figuratively, […]
NFL Retirement Plan Includes New Hire Information to Become Walmart Greeters
New York, NY – Roger Goodell, the Commissioner of the NFL, held a press conference earlier today to discuss the future of retired NFL players. Professional football players and basketball players are known for living the high life and spending all of their money shortly after they retire. Big houses, Escalades, jewelry and yachts are […]
Tom Brady Upset with Verdict; Wants to Spend More Time “All up in Gisele”
Foxborough, MA – Today was a great day for Patriots fans. The final verdict was announced that Tom Brady will not be suspended for the first four games of the season. After a few months of impatiently waiting for the deflate-gate news, fans of the New England football team could finally be excited about a […]
Local Girlfriend Hopes Boyfriend Drafts Poorly so She Can See Him Again Soon
Houston, TX – It’s that time of year again. The time where millions of men all across the country spend their night in front of their laptops as they try to compile the best team possible to win their fantasy football season and shove it in the face of all of their friends who lost. […]
Tom Brady Suspended for Four Games; Plans to Spend Time off Plowing Supermodel Wife
Foxborough, Massachusetts – If you’re a New Englander or from New England, your Facebook news feed is nothing but Tom Brady right now. And it’s understandably so. Brady has been suspended for four games and the Patriots have been fined for $1 million dollars for the deflated balls used in Super Bowl XLIX between the […]
Tom Brady Has Celebratory Sex with His Uggs after Winning Super Bowl
Glendale, AZ – Last night’s Super Bowl kept everyone on their feet. With less than a minute left, the Seahawks were on the goal-line about to score, win the game, and take home the trophy. As Brady and the rest of his team were getting ready to walk to the locker room with their heads […]