Willie Nelson Now Smoking Pot for Medicinal Purposes

Los Angeles, CA – Willie Nelson, famous for hit songs like ‘On the Road Again’ and ‘Always On My Mind” now needs marijuana for medicinal purposes. The country singer, famous for his peaceful lifestyle and multiple arrests with cannabis will now have an excuse to indulge in this popular herb. “Nelson is 80, and has […]

Ellen DeGeneres Fractures Wrist While Dancing

Los Angeles, CA – Ellen DeGeneres is a woman of many talents. The Louisiana native started off as a stand-up comedian in the early 1980s. By the 90s, she found her way into movies and eventually wound up with two television shows based off of her life. By the time her second show, The Ellen Show, ended […]

Rapper Found Dead; Cause of Death Non-Gang Related

Miami, FL – DeShawn Smith, aka Lil’ Dawg, was recently found dead while on break from his “Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em” tour. The rapper, most known for his singles “Let’s Stay Up and Party All Night, Because We Are Young and We Can Still Do Things Like This” and “Part E” choked on […]

Attention Hater Kim Kardashian Reportedly Gives Birth to Child

Los Angeles, CA – In an unexpected twist, Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child earlier today at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. The ridiculously private daughter of the late attorney Robert Kardashian, she has been known to wear disguises in public to avoid being recognized. Medical professionals have gone as far as to suggest she may […]

It’s Over! No More Useful Domain Names Left on the Internet

Cambridge, MA – At approximately 11:53 PM on Wednesday evening, the last possible and useful domain name on the Internet was purchased. According to staff at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Center for Useful Naming Terms, a gentleman in Spokane, WA purchased the domain name “spankmybannayoucrazymangoeatingchick.com” and thus the world was left with nonsensical URLs to choose […]

Kim Jong-un Wants to Destroy America for Ending Jersey Shore

North Korea – The Jersey Shore got cancelled. How did you let your country cancel the greatest show of all time?” Kim Jung-un, leader of North Korea asked  Barack Obama last week. This was not what Obama expected Jung-un to say, especially as his opener. “Now I’d understand if he was upset about Malibu Country […]

Tim Tebow Struck by Lighting; Becomes Average NFL Quarterback

Boston, MA – Amongst horrified onlookers, Tim Tebow was reportedly struck by lightning yesterday. Moments after signing a contract to become the newest New England Patriot, Tebow headed onto the practice field where a large bolt of lightning struck the outspoken Christian.  Within moments, fans witnessed an unbelievable transformation. Tebow began throwing a football around […]

Man Wins Lottery; Accidentally Spends Everything on SkyMall

Tulsa, OK – Gary Williams was your typical blue-collar worker. He worked construction during the day, then went home and relaxed in front of the television with a beer or two. However, between these two activities, he always stopped by the local gas station on his way home for a lottery ticket. It didn’t matter […]