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Page 33
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Eight Astronauts Launch to Space — Plus a Guy Named Dave Who Just Needed to Mentally Check Out
Mikey Weil
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February 13, 2026
Super Bowl Halftime Wedding Already Headed for Divorce
J.D. Vance Mishap With Friends Couch Causes Chaos at 99th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Trump Pushes for “Spice World 2,” Says It’s “The Movie the World Needs Right Now”
McDonald’s Monopoly Returns, Giving Humanity a Brief Beacon of Light
Daft Punk Turns out to Be Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels
Mikey Weil
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Firefighters Found Throwing Cats into Trees to Look Heroic
Driftmouse Correspondent
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0
Local Man Sees Nothing Wrong with Wearing Crocs
Mikey Weil
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0
Quaaludes to Make Comeback Thanks To “Wolf of Wall Street”
Mikey Weil
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0
High Schooler Converts to Judaism to Skip Days
Mikey Weil
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0
Local Man Wonders if He Can Still Submit a Bracket for...
Mikey Weil
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0
Local Man Jealous of His Friends Being Stalked
Mikey Weil
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0
Mark Zuckerberg Admits He Created Facebook so He Could Pretend to...
Mikey Weil
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