Congress to Vote on Whether or Not to Be Productive Next Year; Early Predictions...

Washington, D.C. - As the beginning of the fourth quarter of the year approaches, congress is starting to prepare for their usual vote on whether or not they're going...

Israel and Palestine to Settle Feud over Game of Beer Pong on The Tonight...

New York, NY – Two things are certain; Arabs and Jews have been fighting since the dawn of time, and Jimmy Fallon loves playing games on his late night...

Hillary Clinton Says “Fuck It;” Gets Job at Yankee Candle

Washington, D.C. - Hillary Clinton, wife to the 42nd president and once a possible presidential candidate for 2016, has thrown in the towel. The former United States Secretary of...

Chris Christie Becomes Spokesperson for Doritos Loaded

Trenton, NJ - Governor Chris Christie is a busy man these days. As the 55th governor of New Jersey and a potential 2016 presidential candidate, he is constantly on...

Nap Time to Be Allowed at Businesses Across the Country

Washington, D.C. - Barack Obama made an announcement yesterday introducing a new law that will be going into effect as soon as the fall. After traveling the country undercover...

The Truth Behind the Government Shutdown: Congress Stalling to Re-Watch Entirety of Breaking Bad

Washington, D.C.— As the first government shutdown in seventeen years goes into effect the American public is left wondering, who's really at fault here: the GOP? Obama? A totally...

Putin and Obama Casually Compare Testicles in Denny’s Bathroom

Washington, D.C.- After much heated debate over whether or not to intervene in Syria, President Barack Obama and President Vladimir Putin have finally agreed to end all the fuss...

A Tale of Two Dakota’s

Washington, D.C. - There are fifty states in the Union, and seven U.S. owned territories/commonwealths, most of which are in a tropical climate. Recently elected officials from both North...

Man Who Named It ‘Lake Titicaca’ Is Honored in Vermont

Burlington, VT - This past Monday, a new statue was put up in Lakeside Park. The statue, standing at 10 feet and 8 inches, is dedicated to the man...

Guy Doesn’t Actually Mind NSA Spying on Him

New York, NY - While almost everyone you know seems to be in an uproar over the recent report that the National Security Agency has been monitoring phone calls...

Kim Jong-un Wants to Destroy America for Ending Jersey Shore

North Korea - The Jersey Shore got cancelled. How did you let your country cancel the greatest show of all time?" Kim Jung-un, leader of North Korea asked  Barack...
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